Author Archive: Natasha McKenna

Temptations, Habits, and Addictions

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Written by Suzanne St. Amour,

Clinical Therapist at Family Service PEI
What comes to mind when you hear the word temptation? Does it have a negative or positive connotation for you?  People can be tempted to do a variety of things,  such as pushing that sleep button one more time in the morning or having another portion of a favorite food.
Temptation can lead to repeating a behavior until it becomes a habit. Humans do things for a reason (even when they do not give it much thought). They may not be aware of the motivation that causes them to act.  People’s actions are actually not random. So a person may be tempted to eat a piece of chocolate cake, because  they  like the taste and they enjoy eating it. Another may start biting their nails when they get nervous because it seems to help calm them down. Over time repeated actions like nail biting can occur outside of conscious awareness. Eating another helping of a favorite food will most likely involve some deliberation. These examples both can become habits. Habits are behavior patters acquired by frequent repetition. Some of them become nearly or completely involuntary, meaning that the individual is no longer conscious of the action. The behavior is repeated because it serves a function or has a purpose (or purposes) such as aiding someone to cope, it can also be a type of self-soothing or calming ones self. Oftentimes it is rewarding and pleasurable. To sum up, temptations can become habits.
Repetition of an activity can result in a habit become more serious. There is a point at which some types of repeated or constant habit can become an addiction. Examples of this include smoking, alcohol and drugs.  One of the frequently asked questions regarding addiction is; when does an activity go from being a habit to so an addiction..  Part of the answer has to do with free will and choice. A habit (although possibly difficult to change) is still a matter choice and retraining the brain. An addiction is a powerful compulsive need for and use of an activity or substance.  The list of potential addictive activities grows longer as technology introduces new areas of potential addiction such as gambling (casinos, machines or online), sex (online pornography and sexting), social media (e.g. Facebook), and the constant use of cell phones for various activities.
Going back to the idea of choice and free will, there is a fine line between habit and addiction and the line is crossed when a person looses control of the act.  With drug addiction for instance, the urge to repeat the experience becomes all consuming and there can be withdrawal effects that impact memory, the ability to make decisions and learn.  Some types of drug abuse become a way of life that must be continued at all costs. There is a complexity to the addiction that includes a physiological dependence and often if not always requires professional help to overcome. .To recap, some habits can become addictions.
Living deliberately and making conscious decisions about temptations can reduce or
prevent the temptations from becoming habits and possibly progressing to addictions. Being aware of our choices and tracking them over time also helps. Ask yourself the following questions, and answer honestly; how often do I do this _______ (fill in the blank), overall does it have a  positive or negative impact on my life, do I know the reason I do it, and do I need to stop?

How to Show Others you Care

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By Alex MacDonald, Education and Outreach Specialist
“I love you.” Too often, this is something said quickly on the way out the door, rushed at the end of a phone call, or in a short goodnight text. Regardless of how or when you say it, it’s important that you not only tell your loved ones how you feel, but that you show them how you feel. Here are a few ways you can show your loved one just how much they mean to you.
1.  Listen.
This is an obvious one, but it really does make the world of difference. When you’re listening to a loved one, ask them questions about what they’re saying, make eye contact, be sure to let them know they’re being heard. Even try to follow up with them later. Imagine how your child would feel if you asked them what’s been going on in that TV show they’ve been telling you about. They’ll be excited because they know that you’re listening, and that you care.
2. Surprise.  
Do little things to surprise your loved one and make their day. Clean the kitchen. Make their favourite dinner. Write a list of 10 things you love about them. Bring them a coffee at work. The smallest things can put a smile on someone’s face without costing a dime.  A little surprise here and there shows your loved one you’re thinking about them and that they matter to you.  
 
3. Spend Time.  
Again, this one may seem obvious, but spending quality time with a loved one can do a lot to make them (and you) feel loved. Set aside time with no phones, no interruptions, no distractions, and be just the two of you. This could be the time you spend with your child on the way home from school, the time you and your partner have on dates, or any other time where you can focus on your loved one.
4. Appreciate.  
A great way to make someone feel loved is to show them how much you appreciate them. Say thanks when you notice them doing something for you. Whether they’re doing the dishes, picking you up from work, or if they got the groceries this week, let them know how thankful you are for them!
5. Compliment.
What better way to make someone feel good than to give them a compliment? It could be on something about their appearance if you like a new outfit they’re trying out, but don’t forget to also compliment them on other things! Tell them you enjoyed the dinner they made, or that they always make you laugh, or that you’re lucky to know someone who’s so generous. A little compliment here and there is guaranteed to bring out a smile!
The best years are ones filled with joy, happiness, and love. These five tips will help you ensure you and the people you care about have a year full of love.  

From Worrier to Warrior: Helping Your Child be Less Fearful

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Many children and adolescents struggle with feelings of stress and anxiety. In a world filled with school, extracurriculars, busy social lives, sports, clubs, volunteering and more, it’s not hard to see where stress can creep into children’s lives. Luckily, Amy Przeworski of PsychologyToday.com has some helpful tips to turn your worrier into a warrior.
1. Help your child face their fears. Oftentimes, avoiding stressful situations only causes more uncertainty and worry. Try encouraging your child to face their fears and help them through the situation that makes them the most nervous. If your child fears large crowds, start by taking them somewhere where you can slowly ease into crowds, and be sure to talk to them through it. After 20-45 minutes, your child should start to adjust to the situation and they should feel more relaxed. When they start to calm down, they may realize the situation may not be so bad.
2. Remind your child that it’s okay to be imperfect. Many kids feel pressure to succeed, and subsequently, have a fear of failure. Remember to tell your child that working hard and trying your best is always important, but that it’s perfectly okay to fail sometimes. Remind them that you love them unconditionally, and that they shouldn’t let a fear of failure stop them from trying new things and  living a happy life.
3. Remember the positives. Fears often arise from focusing on the negatives in life. Instead, make sure your child always sees the best in every situation. As a fun activity, get your child to write down one good thing that happened to them every day. Keep these happy moments in a jar or box, and look over them together when your child is feeling stressed. Seeing the positive in every day can be a big help in reducing fears!
4. Reward bravery. If you notice your child doing something brave, make sure you acknowledge it! A compliment, a hug, a trip to the playground – anything! Research shows that behaviors that are rewarded are much more likely to continue than behaviors that aren’t. No matter how you do it, make sure your child feels good about their brave behavior.
5. Listen. Make sure your child feels listened to when they express their fears. If they don’t feel comfortable opening up to you, their worries will only worsen and be harder to solve. Instead, try making them feel safe within the conversation. If they express their fear to you, say “Yes I noticed you seem a bit worried. Why do you feel that way and how can I help you?” Having an open and honest conversation with your child will do a lot to ease their worries.
6. Use relaxation techniques. In a moment of stress, try using relaxation exercises with your child. Focus on taking slow, deep breaths together. Then, get them to imagine a relaxing place that they enjoy. This could be a beach, a library, their grandmother’s house, anywhere! Next, ask them to use all their senses to imagine this place. If they’re picturing the library, get them to think about the smell of the books, the feel of the carpet, and so on. Imagining their favourite place will help your child feel safe and relaxed.
7. Don’t give up! Although it can sometimes feel like you’re going in circles, repetition is important, so continue with the routine. Eventually your child will learn to stay calm in stressful situations, and deal with their emotions in a productive and positive way. Keep it up!

Your First Counselling Session

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The decision to start counselling is big and takes a lot of bravery. EVERY individual goes through difficult times at one point in their life and struggles with the act of reaching out for help. As a Social Worker, I believe counselling is beneficial for ALL individuals. Unfortunately, I find the service often has a negative label attached to it.  I can’t stress enough the importance of having that certain someone to talk things through with whether it’s with a sibling, parent or friend. Sometimes it can be difficult to talk to the ones we love in fear of judgement, shame and guilt. Having a therapist to talk with allows for a safe place to share while helping to identify your strengths, challenges and goals. Asking for help is probably one of the most difficult things we can do as individuals. Seeking out counselling is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength!

Let me tell you what your first session with a therapeutic counselor is like.  It is definitely normal to feel overwhelmed or unsure about your first session. You might be talking about things you’ve never said out loud before. Maybe you’re unsure what to expect. Here are some things to know about your first appointment:

 

1)      Your first counseling session is called the intake (or screening). Your therapist will be doing a lot of information-gathering, which can sometimes feel overwhelming. During my intake sessions, I focus not only on what has brought you into my office, but also on the things that are going well for you – supportive family and friends, talents, passions, etc. These things play a big part in your life.

2)      Everyone’s favorite thing, paperwork! You will be filling out some forms about your background and personal information.  Your therapist can help you with this if you have any trouble.  Next your therapist will go over a document called the “informed consent”, which covers what you can expect in counseling – everything from your therapist’s background, specialties, and credentials, to session fees and confidentiality. It is very important to have an understanding of this document, so be sure to ask questions if anything is confusing!

3)      The majority of the intake (or first) session will be like an interview. Questions range from childhood experiences all the way up to how you have been feeling most recently. Depending on your situation, you might take some written questionnaires to help your therapist get an even better idea of how best to help you.

4)      Toward the end of the session, or even at the start of your second session, you and your therapist will start to come up with a few goals. These are the things you would like to focus on in counselling. Try visualizing how your life will look if counselling is successful. How will you feel? What will have changed?

At Family Service PEI we’re just people experiencing challenges like you. We’re a group of people that are helping other people. Our backgrounds range from social work, counselling, business, accounting, psychology, sociology, education and much more. Our team strives to help individuals succeed in this big thing we call life. If you’re interested in booking an appointment with one of our therapeutic counsellors or just looking for more information about our services, please contact our office to discuss setting up your first appointment. We would love to hear from you!

All the best,

Alex Walsh BA, BSW, RSW

Outreach Education Specialist

Family Service PEI

 

 

Transitions

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summer

Hello!  My name is Nora McCarthy-Joyce and I am the new Executive Director of Family Service PEI.  I am eager to use my skills in the advancement of providing Island families with services to enhance their daily lives.  I have over 15 years experience working for families in schools, community organizations, universities and government advisory groups and have a passion for helping others become their “best selves”.  I believe that no investment is more important than investing in families!

 

As Spring turns into Summer here in Prince Edward Island, our children will be eager to finish up the school year and transition into their summer vacation.  This transition is not always an easy one for kids.  As they move away from the routines of school and are thrown into the freedom that summer vacation offers, many kids find it challenging and may become under-stimulated and complain that they are bored.

 

There are many things that could help to make the transition easier for kids.  Here are some ideas that could help children adjust from their school schedule (and provide fun activities for the family too)!

 

Create a Summer Calendar

 

Children get excited about sitting down with parents or guardians and creating a fun list of things to do!  Let your children brainstorm all sorts of activities they would like to do in order to have the best summer possible.  Create a list of all the ideas your family comes up with.  Now you can start penciling activities into your calendar and planning out a summer to remember.  This gives children something to look forward to while creating family memories to last a lifetime.

 

Organize Educational Activities

 

It is important that children have learning opportunities throughout the summer to prevent summer learning loss.  There are lots of ways to maintain skills throughout the summer.  For example, teachers often offer reading materials or other practice activities for students to complete over the summer break.  It is your job as parent to make sure your student completes the assigned task.  You can make it fun by creating rewards together for each completed assignment.  If no work was assigned from their teacher, you can make a fun and educational trip to your local library.  They often offer free reading and craft programs that children can attend, in addition to taking home books, videos, and other great literacy materials!

Stay In Touch With Friends

 

Staying social with friends is very important to children over the summer.  Help your children stay in touch by planning for fun with other parents or events.  Summer barbeques, a trip to a local park, or taking part in a community celebration is a great way to do this – it can even be added to your calendar of fun!  Strengthening friendships over the summer will help ease kids back into the upcoming school year with confidence!

 

I hope you will find these tips useful as our weather gets warmer and the school year comes to a close.  Wishing you a all a wonderful summer this year filled with many memories and lots of fun!

 

 

Nora

 

 

 

Wanted: Co-Location Partnership

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sharing_0In this day of rising costs, decreasing stability of funding, and movement towards greater efficiencies we are seeking a partner with which to co-locate our services in Summerside.

In that office we currently have 3 employees – 1 who is full time, and 2 who are part time (2 – 3 days per week). Yet, we have an abundance of space – 3 private offices; a waiting room; and a kitchen/storage area.

We are very happy with our current property management company. However, we have a need to reduce our overhead costs. We are willing to move to another location, or work with our current landlord to expand/reconfigure our space to accommodate a partner agency.

We see the benefits of doing so as:

  • Shared/reduced overhead costs
  •  More efficient use of resources
  • Shared common space(s)
  • Possible shared reception position(we currently don’t have any)
  • Cross promotion of services and/or greater visibility
  • Creation of synergy as a result of partnership initiative(s)

However, there are also some challenges:

  •  The need to protect the confidentiality of clients
  •  Finding a partner organization that ‘fits’ well with our services
  •  Developing a strong partnership agreement that works for both agencies

We are willing to work with anyone who is interested in formally partnering in this way. We feel that if there is interest and commitment, solutions can be found to any and all barriers to making this work.

If you are interested, please contact Denise Lockhart, Executive Director, via email: director@familyservice.pe.ca or phone: 902-892-2441 ext. 3 or 902-436-9171.

Building Better Relationships

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IGS-00075550-001By: Maureen Croken, Family Service PEI

We know that relationships are important and contribute to our well being .We also  know that having a good support system in our life is one of the determinants of good health, and in particular good mental health. How do we achieve this?  We learn skills early on in our family, school and community that inform us how to interact with others. Sometimes however to improve the quality of our relationships we need to improve these skills and there are many resources available to us in the form of books, lectures, blogs, and therapists to name a few. Some skills that will be helpful are communication skills, listening skills, problem solving skills and mindfulness skills. Learning these skills takes work and practice and for many of us is an ongoing process.

We are all unique but also similar in that we have a need to have a connection with others, to belong and ideally to have acceptance by others of our most authentic self. In view of this we need to establish relationships with others and more importantly maintain them. There are some who say our resilience is rooted in our ability to form close relationships.

Relationships can range from deep friendships to more superficial acquaintances. Both play a role in our life and the latter, in some cases, may lead to a deeper friendship.

Establishing Relationships:

Taking risks:

We do need to remember it does take two people to establish a relationship. Individuals have different needs and interests at different stages of the life cycle. A relationship may not work out because of time, because of other commitments and priorities or lack of common interests. It is important to remember, that in most situations it has nothing to do with you. This work of connecting with others can cause anxiety, in some cases fear and for others it is remarkably easy and natural. We need to over come our fear of rejection, a common fear for many of us.

We need to accept that our attempts at establishing relationships will not always work out; in fact we need to plan on it. For example, you think you might like to be a friend with a certain person and for example, arrange to have lunch. You soon realize this is going to be a long lunch .Your lunch partner is talking about sports or some other topic in which you absolutely have no interest .They have no interest in what you have to say. Another scenario could be completely different. You have lots on common and lunch is over before you know it. You are surprized when your lunch partner does not want to schedule lunch again. That may have nothing to do with you. Your lunch partner may be overwhelmed with other commitments and responsibilities.

Be Yourself:

Being yourself gives others a chance to see if there is compatibility and if they have anything in common with you. At the same time, pace the level of self-disclosure…too much too soon can scare people away. Have you ever met someone who disclosed their life history without even asking you, your name?

Interests

You meet people sharing common interests. You need to identify your interests and be able to discuss them with others, such as reading, cooking, gardening, sports, bird watching, just to name a few. If you do not have any interests you need to develop some. This may involve trying many different things until you find something you love to do. It is fun to share with others and this becomes a win win situation.

Social Activities   

You are more likely to meet people if you attend events and activities. Some people are fearful of attending some event on their own, yet others see it as an opportunity to meet someone. In fact, many people travel on their own for this reason.

Social Media

There is great potential for connecting with others through social media. You have to use the same judgement and caution as you do in the offline world.

Maintaining and Improving Relationships

Know Yourself

There needs to be a balance between healthy relationships and feeling secure and satisfied with ourselves. Are you aware of your values, beliefs, interests and feelings? Are you able to say no to something makes you feel uncomfortable? Do you sometimes go along with a request and then feel resentful? Are you able to take time for yourself and know that you deserve it? The better you feel about yourself, the easier it will be to care for others.

Give and take

Recognize what is important to the other. This involves being there for the other as well as your expectation that they be there for you. Relationships are a two way street. Give importance to the needs of the other. Develop the skill of both giving and receiving emotional support.

Learn to Listen.

Do you ever find when some one is talking you are waiting for your turn to talk, and tell your own story or you may interrupt without hearing what was actually said. Most of us do this at some time and we miss out. You may need to practice this skill of focusing on what the other person is saying. This becomes even more difficult when the topic triggers negative or uncomfortable feelings within. For example, imagine you are discussing the subjects of vaccines with someone and they have a strong opinion that is different than yours. You are convinced that they are wrong and shut down before they have had a chance to state their position.

Expectations

Be realistic about what to expect. When we have a relationship with someone, it usually comes with a set of expectations. Keep in mind that we all have our own habits, personalities, beliefs, values and experiences. Your definition of a friend or friendship may be different than that of another individual.  Many of us expect our friends to be mind readers and know what we want. We are disappointed when our friend or friends fail to meet our expectations. Be clear about what you want. For example, you may want your friend to be available by text, email or phone more often then they would like or are able. Check with your friend what works for them. You may need to adjust your expectations or come up with some kind of compromise.

In conclusion building better relationship takes work, practice of specific skills and involves risks. Your life will be richer and more meaningful. As mentioned previously, there are many resources available to assist you in this process.

Communicating Effectively- The Readers Digest Version

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3c6f8c3c-9d57-47cf-929c-3db7104e2a38By: Suzanne St Amour, Family Service PEI

Communication is part of life. The daily activity is practiced all over the world. However humans are not always successful in their attempts at communicating.

In general terms, communication is about imparting or exchanging information. It also has a variety of other functions.

There are several steps in communicating effectively. Lets use a situation where two people are talking to each other.

1) GOAL– Decide on what goal is to be achieved in a particular communication. Consider the reason for the communication. For instance, is it being used to impart information, convey an idea, share thoughts and emotions, argue, or transmit displeasure..

2)  DISCUSS TOPIC– Together explore the topic to be discussed. To do this each person needs to be clear about what they are trying to say.. This part of a conversation is about making meaning. The intent is to listen, understand and accept what each other is trying to communicate. Both persons needs to feel heard. This happens when we are able to show each other that we understanding what the other is saying. At this stage it is not necessary to agree or worry about disagreeing. Notice that the conversation has not yet reached the stage of finding a solution. Perhaps the communication is not about finding a solution, it could, for example, be about what they each feel regarding the day’s events. Jumping to solution talk or “fixing” is a common mistake made in communicating. People want to get right to “the answer”.

3) GENERATE OPTIONS– Think back to step one. Be clear about the shared goal of the communication. If there is a problem to solve or an issue to overcome, start brainstorming possible solutions.  Write them down if you like. Generate as many ideas as possible. 4) When step 3 is complete go through the options and evaluate the pros and cons. After further discussion, rule out the options that are not suitable.

5) DECIDE ON A SOLUTION– From the ones that remain select a solution that both of you can live with. This can be the most difficult step. It may require compromise and thinking outside the box (creativity). The more a person practices this method the better they will get at it.  Remember that the first part  of communication to make a point or share information and perhaps solve a problem if that is the outcome you have agreed to.

WHAT CAN GO WRONG– Note that it is important for each person to remain calm and use their cognitive skills. Avoid picking a solution that is non-negotiable. If a person does this there is no space for options and the situation becomes a “I win you lose” or “you win I lose” proposition. Resist becoming polarised and digging in. This will bring our emotional upset and may kick start the Fight or Flight response. This response is a hard wired physiological (body) reaction which occurs automatically when humans feel threatened.

Research has found that, during upset,  if a person’s heart rate rises above 90 beats per minute, all logic goes out the window (part of the Fight or Flight response).  If this happens any kind of logical discussion or solution becomes impossible. This is when fighting starts.  A conversation that deteriorates  into  a fights will not end with a solution. In fact it is likely to end with “bad feelings” because people will have said things in the heat of the moment that they cannot take back. It also damages the ability to have a reasonable, productive conversation on the topic next time because trust has been damaged and people are less willing to take another risk. Agree in advance that if either person becomes upset you will take a break and return to the topic when you are both calm again.

TO RECAP– communications or conversations have a variety of purposes. In order to attain this purpose one has to remain calm and be open go slowly, a willingness to explore a topic, to listen to the other person, to understanding what they are saying to validate their position by indicating that they understand. In addition options must be generated, weighed and considered. Finding a solution will ideally involve input from both individuals and be mutually satisfying.  Sometimes it may require compromise or taking turns. So they may agree that they will do it this way this time and the other way next time.  For couples, remember that you are a team (We) not adversaries (Me).

9 Common Pursuits That Rob Us of Happiness

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Happiness-Street

By: Joshua Becker

 “Happiness is not a destination, it’s a way of life.”

Happiness. We look for it in different places. Some of us hope to buy it. Some think we can earn it. Others look for it in a new job, a new relationship, or a new accomplishment.

But one thing remains: happiness is something we all desire. We were designed to experience it.

Why then, does it appear at times to be so elusive? How can a society search so desperately for something, but still struggle to find it?

Maybe it is because the pursuits we have set before us as a means to find it are actually keeping us from it.

Consider these 9 pursuits and how they may be distracting us from happiness. Each of them are common in our lives and in our world. But  rather than contributing to our happiness, they may be robbing us of it.

9 Common Pursuits That Rob Us of Happiness

1. Following the crowd. The crowd rarely has our best interests in mind. Instead, they seek their own benefit. Scientists call this crowd mentality. And more often than not, following the crowd leads to destructive behaviors rather than life-giving. We would be wise to seek input into our lives from other sources than the popular perceptions of the day.

2. Trying to please everybody. Bill Cosby said it this way, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” We are never going to please everybody. At some point, we will hold an unpopular opinion—one that gives us meaning and purpose and passion. And when we do, we ought to hold on to it desperately.

3. Chasing wealth. Studies confirm it over and over again: once our most basic needs have been met, money contributes very little to our overall happiness. And yet, we continue to pursue more as if it holds the secret key to lasting joy. But those who desire riches bring temptation to themselves and are often caught in a trap. Happiness is never the byproduct of chasing wealth.

4. Desiring a picture-perfect life. Happiness is not something we discover only after everything is perfect with our lives (our jobs, our appearance, our relationships). If that were the case, none of us would ever experience happiness. This world is imperfect—always will be. But happiness can still be found once we realize perfection is not a prerequisite.

5. Building our own kingdom. The size of our universe shrinks dramatically when we place ourselves at the center. Living selfishly for our own personal gain will never produce lasting happiness and fulfillment. Our lives are designed to be lived for something far greater. And only those who discover the hidden joy of living for others will find a happiness that truly lasts.

6. Entertaining distraction. Our world has become a constant feed of information, noise, and entertainment. Each distraction enters our mind with one goal: Gain control of our attention and resources. Those who sacrifice their resources to unlimited curiosity will never find the mental or financial capacity to become something greater.

7. Fighting for recognition. Searching for happiness in recognition is a losing endeavor. The world will never give you the respect or accolades you so desperately desire. They are all too busy fighting for their own. You will need to find it elsewhere.

8. Succumbing to fear. If given the chance, fear will always cripple. It will steal your life and potential. Living your fullest life will require courage in the face of fear. Sometimes you will fail. But be strong, most of the time, you will succeed—or become better because of it.

9. Searching for it around the next corner. Happiness is not something to be chased. It is a decision to be made. (tweet that)

And you have everything you need right now to choose it.

Sourced from: http://www.becomingminimalist.com/find-happiness/

New Years Resolutions: Turning Aspirations Into Achievable Goals

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2015 new yearBy : Ellan Dickieson, Family Service PEI

New Year- New Goals- New You. We hear it every January. I have to say that I personally have mixed emotions about the idea of New Year’s resolutions. On one side I believe that it is a good time of year to kick start, or reboot, whilst on the other side, I am quite aware that many New Year’s resolutions fail. So part of me says, why set ourselves up for failure? While the other side says, but why do we so often fail?  Confusing. I know. The only answer is to come up with a plan to defy all odds.

This past year, I am proud to say that I was able to do this. I set a goal, and by the end of November I reached it. It took dedication, it took perseverance, and it took support and help from others. I would not have been able to achieve this goal on my own.  So what is the magic trick you ask?

If you concentrate on the steps it takes to transform an aspiration into reality, you’ve set yourself up with a sturdy action-based goal. However, a lot of the goals that we set aren’t thoroughly thought through. They exist as concepts that we can dream about.

When we aim towards a personal target without specifying how we intend to hit it, we’re making outcome-based goals: objectives that only focus on the end product.

‘I’m going to lose ten pounds by July’ and ‘I’m going to write a novel.‘ are both outcome based-goals. It’s hard to accomplish them without a plan. With a little thought and dedication, these can turn into strong action-based goals, well on their way to being achieved!

Have you ever heard of S.M.A.R.T Goal Setting? Each letter in the acronym “S.M.A.R.T.” stands for one quality that a strong goal should have. It should be:

Specific

Measurable

Attainable

Realistic

Timely.

If you have an outcome-based goal on your mind, try asking yourself the following questions:

–       Have I specified exactly what I want to do and when I want it done by?

–       What steps will I take to reach my goal and how will I keep track of my progress?

–       Is it possible to complete my goal in the time I want to, without rushing?

–       Do I truly feel that I am currently able to accomplish this goal? Is it the right time in my life to pursue this?

Once you are sure that your goal is S.M.A.R.T., you can take action whenever you’re ready! Remember to focus on how you’re going to hit your target. Accept mistakes and try not to get discouraged by failure; when you make a mistake, it means that you’re only trying new approaches, figuring things out, and moving forward. Finally, don’t forget celebrate every small achievement you make on your way to the final outcome! Stay motivated; don’t be afraid to modify your original plans. Most importantly, don’t give up.