Author Archive: Natasha McKenna

5 Tips for Keeping Your Family Road Trip Stress Free

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FANCY-00044406-001From: Canadian Family Magazine

In the past year alone, our family has driven from Toronto to Atlanta, from Atlanta to Myrtle Beach, from Myrtle Beach to Milwaukee, from Milwaukee to Toronto (twice!), and from Toronto to Milwaukee. It’s safe to say that our children spend a lot of time in the car. Because of this, we have become experts in the art of surviving the family road trip. In fact, many of our friends actually come to us to ask for tips on how to make road-tripping as stress-free as possible and I always recommend the following five things:

1. Entertainment device: Make sure each child has some sort of electronic entertainment device of his or her own. Having a DVD player in the car is wonderful and can really come in handy on long road trips, but in can also become a source of fighting, arguments and frustration. Pro tip: Steal away your child’s iPod and put a surprise movie on it, or steal away the gaming device and pop in a brand-new surprise game.

2. Personal snack bags: Pre-pack a bag filled with drinks and snacks and treats. I find that kids tend to love taking ownership of their things, and they like opening up their bags seeing the things that they love to eat and don’t have to share with their siblings. Pro tip:Always overpack when it comes to food. Bring several different kinds of fruit, veggies, string cheese, granola bars, etc. The more you offer, the better your chances are of having packed something the kids will love.

3. Colouring Projects: Activity books of all kinds are an absolute necessity on road trips. Colouring books, word searches, Mad Libs and crosswords are great. But often these can end in the infamous “Mommy! I dropped my crayon/pen/marker/pencil” or “Mommy! I just drew with marker all over my car seat/legs/windows/clothing!” which is really no fun for anyone involved. This is where Crayola’s Color Wonder activities come in handy. The colours appear on the designated paper only and not on clothing, body parts or your vehicle.

4. The licence plate game. Oh, this game. It’s an oldie, but it really is a goodie. Print out a map of the US and Canada, or simply have fun trying to find/list of the states and provinces together. When you spot a licence from that place, cross it off the list. It’s a fun challenge that will keep little eyes focused on something other than a glowing screen.

5. Strategically-planned pit stops. You shouldn’t only stop for the necessary gas fill-ups or bathroom visits. Instead, plan ahead and find places to just take a break from the road. Find a park or an open field or a place to run around and stretch your legs. Sometimes changing up the scenery and getting out of the car for a little bit can renew youngsters’ energy and gear them up for some more time in the car.

What are your no-fail family travel tips?

If you’re looking for more road trip survival tips, check out our travel tips for a family road trip.

—Ali, Senior Associate Editor of CF.ca

Sourced from: http://www.canadianfamily.ca/activities/travel/5-tips-for-keeping-your-family-road-trip-stress-free/

How To Deal With Temptations

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670px-Deal-With-Temptation-Step-1Are you any good at resisting temptation? All of us succumb to a little temptation now and then, but some people are blessed with more self-control than others. Temptation is about wanting something that you really want, often something that isn’t right or good for you.

Resisting temptation is difficult because the object or subject of our desire is often all the more desirable because it’s forbidden, out-of-reach, or hard to obtain. Sometimes temptation can turn into obsession if it’s not possible to obtain the desired thing or person; other times, being able to give in to temptation leaves us feeling dissatisfied, guilty, or upset because we’ve done something we shouldn’t have. This article discusses ways of dealing with temptation.

Click Here to Link to Full Article

Assertive Versus Aggressive

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By: Family Service PEI

Are you assertive enough in your everyday life?  Being assertive is a necessary communication skill to practice in order to avoid being taken advantage of, and to protect yourself from harm and wrongdoing. Being assertive involves expressing your feelings honestly and comfortably, without violating the rights of others.  It is a way of effectively expressing your likes, dislikes, interests, opinions and feelings in a way that people will easily understand.  Being assertive also involves being able to politely disagree with others, saying no to others’ demanding requests, and taking a stand for what you feel is right.

So, what are the benefits of developing an assertive communicate style?  It leads to better self-esteem and strong supportive relationships involving mutual respect. It lets others know that you are not willing to be taken advantage of and that you have a voice of your own.  Furthermore, being assertive better prepares you to accept compliments and positive feedback.

However, it is important to understand and recognize the difference between being assertive and being aggressive.  So, let’s break down the difference between the two:

Assertive                                Vs.                                 Aggressive

–  Speaking openly                                                            – Interrupting and talking over others

– Uses a conversational tone                                          – Speaks loudly and abrupt

– Maintains good eye contact                                         – Stares and glares at others

– Shows expressions that match the message            – Intimidates others with expressions

– Relaxed appearance with open posture                    – Stands rigidly with crossed arms, invades personal space.

– Participates in groups                                                   – Controls groups

– Values self equal to others                                           – Values self more than others

– Tries to hurt no one (including self)                          – Hurts others to avoid being hurt

 

Believe it or not, assertion is not a natural trait that we are born with, we must continue to learn  and develop this skill regularly.

10 Questions to Ask Your Financial Planner

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By: The Financial Planning Standards Council

Financial planners can help you plan for retirement, find the best way to finance a new home, save for your child’s education or simply help put your finances in order. Whatever your needs, working with an appropriately qualified financial planner is a crucial step in helping you meet short-term and long- term goals that will help ensure your future financial well-being.

Finding the right planner is extremely important because your choice will almost certainly affect the security of your financial future. The following questions will help you interview and evaluate financial planners to find a competent, qualified professional with whom you feel comfortable and whose business style suits your needs.

Don’t be afraid to ask these and any other questions you feel need a full and open answer. Any professional will welcome them.

  1. What are your qualifications?
  2. What experience do you have?
  3. What services do you offer?
  4. What is your approach to financial planning?
  5. Will you be the only person working with me?
  6. How will I pay for your services?
  7. How much do you typically charge?
  8. Could anyone besides me benefit from your recommendations?
  9. Are you regulated by any organization?
  10. Can I have it in writing?

1. What are your qualifications?

Many people offering financial services call themselves financial planners. However, financial planning is a detailed, comprehensive process requiring hands-on experience and a strong technical understanding of topics such as personal tax planning, insurance, investments, retirement planning and estate planning – and how a recommendation in one area can affect the others.

In addition, in Canadian provinces with the exception of Quebec, there is no legislated standard in place for those who call themselves financial planners to obtain any credentials whatsoever. Be sure that your planner is appropriately trained, certified and held accountable to professional oversight – as Certified Financial Planner® professionals are today.

Ask the planner about his/her qualifications to offer financial advice and if, in fact, s/he is a qualified planner.

Ask what training s/he has successfully completed.

Ask what steps s/he takes to keep up with changes and developments in the financial planning field.

Ask whether s/he holds any professional credentials including the CFP® credential, which is recognized internationally as the mark of the competent, ethical, professional financial planner.

2. What experience do you have?

Experience is an important consideration in choosing any professional. Ask how long the planner has been in practice, the number and types of firms with which s/he has been associated, and how their work experience relates to their current practice. Inquire about what experience the planner has in dealing with people in similar situations to yours and whether s/he has any specialized training. Choose a financial planner who has at least three years’ experience counselling individuals on their financial needs.

3. What services do you offer?

The services a financial planner offers will vary and depend on their credentials, registration, areas of expertise and the organization for which s/he works. Some planners offer financial planning advice on a range of topics but do not sell financial products. Others may provide advice only in specific areas such as estate planning or taxation. Those who sell financial products such as insurance, stocks, bonds and mutual funds, or who give investment advice, must be registered with provincial regulatory authorities and may have specialized designations in these areas of expertise.

4. What is your approach to financial planning?

The types of services a financial planner will provide vary from organization to organization. Some planners prefer to develop financial plans encompassing all of a client’s financial goals. Be sure to work with a planner who considers your overall financial goals, values and attitudes even where they may specialize in a specific area such as taxation, estate planning, insurance or investments. As an example, an investment specialist’s portfolio recommendations should consider your investment objectives and risk tolerance, but as well your cash flow needs, tax situation, risk management and estate goals. Ask whether the individual deals primarily with clients with specific net worth, levels of income or investable assets, and whether the planner will help you implement the plan s/he develops or refer you to others who will do so.

5. Will you be the only person working with me?

It is quite common for a financial planner to work with others in their organization to develop and implement financial planning recommendations. You may want to meet everyone who will be working with you. Financial planners often work with other professionals, including the ones you already use, such as your lawyer and accountant.

6. How will I pay for your services?

Your planner should disclose in writing how s/he will be paid for the services they will provide. Understand how your potential planner will be compensated and choose whatever model works best for you. Planners can be paid in several ways:

From the cost of the product: Some planners receive their compensation directly from the product manufacturer when you purchase a product through the planner, as part of the management fee of the fund for example. In this case no money is exchanged between the client and the planner. Rather, the cost to the client is embedded in the cost of the mutual fund.

Percentage of assets under management: Some planners will charge a fee as a percentage of the assets they are managing or administering on your behalf.

Fee-for-service: Some planners charge an hourly or set fee for the service they provide.

7. How much do you typically charge?

While the amount you pay the planner will depend on your particular needs, the financial planner should be able to provide you with an estimate of possible costs based on the work to be performed. Such costs would include the planner’s hourly rates or flat fees or the percentage s/he would receive as commission on products you may purchase as part of the financial planning recommendations

8. Could anyone besides me benefit from your recommendations?

Ask the planner – regardless of fee structure – if they have a written professional obligation to put your interests ahead of their own. For example, CFP professionals must attest to a code of ethics annually that clearly states that your interests will always come first.

9. Are you regulated by any organization?

Financial planners who sell financial products such as securities and insurance or who provide investment advice must be regulated by provincial regulatory authorities and may also subscribe to a code of ethics through a professional association. Others who are members of the accounting and legal professions are usually members of professional bodies that govern their fields. Planners who hold the CFP credential are subject to internationally recognized professional standards of competence, ethics, and practice set and enforced in Canada by Financial Planning Standards Council (FPSC®).

It is a fair question to ask if a prospective financial planner has ever been the subject of disciplinary action by any regulatory body or industry association. You can verify the answer by contacting the relevant organization. Ask the financial planner whether s/he subscribes to a professional code of ethics such as the FPSC Code of Ethics for CFP professionals..

10. Can I have it in writing?

Ask the planner to provide you with a written agreement that details the services that will be provided. Keep this document in your files for future reference.

Sourced from: http://www.fpsc.ca/10-questions-ask-your-planner#1

The Questions That Will Save Your Relationships

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By: Glennon Melton

When I was a mama of three very tiny, very messy, very beautiful rug rats, we had DAYS THAT WENT ON FOR LIFETIMES. Craig left at 6:00 a.m. every morning and as I watched his showered, ironed self leave the house I felt incredibly blessed and thrilled to have so much time alone with my babies and incredibly terrified and bitter to have so much time alone with my babies. If you don’t believe that all of those feelings can exist at once — well, you’ve never been a parent to many tiny, messy, beautiful rug rats.

When Craig returned each day at 6:00 p.m. (he actually returned at 5:50 but took a STUNNINGLY LONG TIME TO GET THE MAIL) he’d walk through the door, smile and say — “So! How was your day?”

This question was like a spotlight pointed directly at the chasm between his experience of a “DAY” and my experience of a “DAY.” How was my day?

The question would linger in the air for a moment while I stared at Craig and the baby shoved her hand in my mouth like they do — while the oldest screamed MOMMY I NEED HELP POOING from the bathroom and the middle one cried in the corner because I NEVER EVER EVER let her drink the dishwasher detergent. NOT EVER EVEN ONCE, MOMMY!!! And I’d look down at my spaghetti-stained pajama top, unwashed hair, and gorgeous baby on my hip — and my eyes would wander around the room, pausing to notice the toys peppering the floor and the kids’ stunning new art on the fridge…

And I’d want to say:

How was my day? Today has been a lifetime. It was the best of times and the worst of times. There were moments when my heart was so full I thought I might explode, and there were other moments when my senses were under such intense assault that I was CERTAIN I’d explode. I was both lonely and absolutely desperate to be alone. I was saturated — just BOMBARDED with touch and then the second I put down this baby I yearned to smell her sweet skin again. I was simultaneously bored out of my skull and completely overwhelmed with so much to do. Today was too much and not enough. It was loud and silent. It was brutal and beautiful. I was at my very best today and then, just a moment later, at my very worst. At 3:30 today I decided that we should adopt four more children, and then at 3:35 I decided that we should give up the kids we already have for adoption. Husband — when your day is completely and totally dependent upon the moods and needs and schedules of tiny, messy, beautiful rug rats your day is ALL OF THE THINGS and NONE OF THE THINGS, sometimes within the same three minute period. But I’m not complaining. This is not a complaint, so don’t try to FIX IT. I wouldn’t have my day Any.Other.Way. I’m just saying — it’s a hell of a hard thing to explain — an entire day with lots of babies.

But I’d be too tired to say all of that. So I’d just cry, or yell, or smile and say “fine,” and then hand the baby over and run to Target to wander aisles aimlessly, because that’s all I ever really wanted. But I’d be a little sad because love is about really being seen and known and I wasn’t being seen or known then. Everything was really hard to explain. It made me lonely.

So we went went to therapy, like we do.

Through therapy, we learned to ask each other better questions. We learned that if we really want to know our people, if we really care to know them — we need to ask them better questions and then really listen to their answers. We need to ask questions that carry along with them this message: “I’m not just checking the box here. I really care what you have to say and how you feel. I really want to know you.” If we don’t want throwaway answers, we can’t ask throwaway questions. A caring question is a key that will unlock a room inside the person you love.

So Craig and I don’t ask “How was your day?” anymore. After a few years of practicing increasingly intimate question asking, now we find ourselves asking each other questions like these:

When did you feel loved today?

When did you feel lonely?

What did I do today that made you feel appreciated?

What did I say that made you feel unnoticed?

What can I do to help you right now?

I know. WEEEEEIRRD at first. But not after a while. Not any weirder than asking the same damn empty questions you’ve always asked that elicit the same damn empty answers you’ve always gotten.

And so now when our kids get home from school, we don’t say: “How was your day?” Because they don’t know. Their day was lots of things.

Instead we ask:

How did you feel during your spelling test?

What did you say to the new girl when you all went out to recess?

Did you feel lonely at all today?

Were there any times you felt proud of yourself today?

And I never ask my friends: “How are you?” Because they don’t know either.

Instead I ask:

How is your mom’s chemo going?

How’d that conference with Ben’s teacher turn out?

What’s going really well with work right now?

Questions are like gifts — it’s the thought behind them that the receiver really FEELS. We have to know the receiver to give the right gift and to ask the right question. Generic gifts and questions are all right, but personal gifts and questions feel better. Love is specific, I think. It’s an art. The more attention and time you give to your questions, the more beautiful the answers become.

Life is a conversation. Make it a good one.

Sourced from: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/the-questions-that-will-save-your-relationships_b_4618254.html

Coping Financially During Long Term Illness

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money-illness-225x300By: Adam Buller

Illness is something which can occur unexpectedly and out of the blue. Sometimes though the effects of an illness can stay with you for a long time affecting many aspects of your daily life. It can be extremely frustrating not being able to do what you once could but it can be even more frustrating when the illness begins to hit your finances, especially if you have a family you are trying to provide for. Hopefully you will have some savings put away in an emergency fund but these will likely soon become exhausted if your illness really does prove to be long term. So what else can you do to cope financially during a long term illness?

Admit your problem and put pride to one side-
One of the hardest things for many of those who are suffering is actually admitting that they can’t do what they once did. We all like to stay financially independent for as long as possible in the hope that we will be able to recover from our illness and get on with life as normal again. This pride can often cause your financial situation to become even more dire as the unpaid bills start to stack up and charges start being added. So the first step is to recognise and admit that you may need to make some changes or seek some short or long term financial assistance before your finances spiral out of control. So what changes can be made and what assistance can you seek? Let’s consider a few things that can be done.

Check your existing policies-
If you currently have any insurance policies in place related to life or income then it can be a good idea to get out the document box and sift through the details of all policies to see if there are any unexpected benefits in that policy that may be relevant to your situation. If your illness is particularly serious for example then you may find that your life insurance policy has a critical illness element to it which will pay out on diagnosis. You may find that you still have some sort of income protection policy in place that you set up years ago but never got around to cancelling. We’re looking for the expected and the unexpected here so even if you don’t think that any of your policies contain these benefits it is still worth an hour of your time finding out on the off chance that they do.

Another thing that you should check is whether you have any insurance policies on your mortgage, loans or finance deals. If you do then there is a good chance that you may be covered for medium term illness and you may be able to make a claim to help pay these commitments in part or in full whilst you recover from your illness.

Are you eligible for benefits?
If you have found that your income has significantly decreased due to your illness then you might now be eligible for benefits such as increased tax credits or even housing benefit. Pride can again play a part here as most of us don’t like to admit that we can’t support our loved ones on our own steam anymore. The problem with pride is that it won’t change the situation you are in. These benefits can also take a long time to sort out and you often cannot backdate them without a valid reason. So if your financial situation has changed because of your illness then it’s wise to find out what you are eligible for and make any claim as soon as possible. You can always cancel a claim later on if your health improves but it’s better to plan for the worst case scenario and claim what you are entitled to early on.

Can you work from home?
If your employer offers the option of working from home while you get over your illness then perhaps this could be something you could cope with? If this option isn’t available then maybe you could use your skills to top up your income with an online business or by freelancing as and when you feel able. It’s obviously wise to check whether any work you are doing would negatively affect your sick pay or benefits but if you are able to add a few extra pounds to your weekly budget then this could really help during this tough time in your life.

Making lifestyle changes
The timing of this decision can also be tough, when to make those lifestyle changes? If you expect your illness to end quite soon then it can be tempting to delay making changes to how you live. The problem here is that life doesn’t always go as you expect it to. The wise thing to do would be to make cutbacks and start saving money right away just in case your illness lasts for a lot longer than you were expecting. These changes could include slashing your food budget, reducing cable packages; mobile phone tariffs etc., anything that can be changed without incurring a penalty. Perhaps you could even cancel some contracts.

Again it can be difficult to admit that you can’t now afford the things you once could but if this is the case then it is best to deal with the problem yourself before someone else – the debt collectors – deal with it for you. Creating a workable budget, even if it is just for a temporary time, can reduce the stress in the long run which could then help drastically with your ability to overcome your illness.

It can happen to anyone-
As we’ve discussed, one of the biggest things that can prevent us from improving or protecting our financial position during illness can be our own pride. You may be reluctant to make lifestyle changes, claim benefits or seek advice. What is it they say though, ‘pride comes before a fall’? If you’re feeling down on yourself then just remember that you are not alone in what you are facing. There are many people out there dealing with long term illness or even critical illness. It truly can happen to anyone so you should not be afraid to make changes and seek advice, it could mean the difference between keeping your finances afloat during this hard time of life, or not.

Sourced from: http://moneybulldog.co.uk/coping-financially-during-long-term-illness/

What Does Family Violence Look Like?

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With Family Violence Prevention Week quickly approaching (February 9-15), it is everyone’s responsibility to be educated, raise awareness, and reduce stigma surrounding family violence.

What is family violence?

The Canadian Justice Department defines it as, “Any form of abuse, mistreatment or neglect that a child or adult experiences from a family member, or from someone with whom they have an intimate relationship.” More specifically, family violence can be broken into 5 forms:

Physical

Inflicting or attempting to inflict physical injury. Example: grabbing, pinching, shoving, slapping, hitting, biting, arm-twisting, kicking, punching, hitting with blunt objects, stabbing, shooting

Withholding access to resources necessary to maintain health. Example: medication, medical care, wheelchair, food or fluids, sleep, hygienic assistance. Forcing alcohol or other drug use.

Sexual

Coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact without consent. Example: marital rape, acquaintance rape, forced sex after physical beating, attacks on the sexual parts of the body, forced prostitution, fondling, sodomy, sex with others

Attempting to undermine the victim’ sexuality. Example: treating him/her in a sexually derogatory manner, criticizing sexual performance and desirability, accusations of infidelity, withholding sex

Psychological

Instilling or attempting to instill fear. Example: intimidation, threatening physical harm to self, victim, and/or others, threatening to harm and/or kidnap children, menacing, blackmail, harassment, destruction of pets and property, mind games, stalking, isolating or attempting to isolate victim from friends, family, school, and/or work. Example: withholding access to phone and/or transportation, undermining victim’s personal relationships, harassing others, constant “checking up,” constant accompaniment, use of unfounded accusations, forced imprisonment

Emotional

Undermining or attempting to undermine victim sense of worth. 
Example: constant criticism, belittling victim’s abilities and competency, name-calling, insults, put-downs, silent treatment, manipulating victim’s feelings and emotions to induce guilt, subverting a partner’s relationship with the children, repeatedly making and breaking promises

Economic

Making or attempting to make the victim financially dependent. 
Example: maintaining total control over financial resources including victim’s earned income or resources received through public assistance or social security, withholding money and/or access to money, forbidding attendance at school, forbidding employment, on-the-job harassment, requiring accountability and justification for all money spent, forced welfare fraud, withholding information about family running up bills for which the victim is responsible for payment.

Source: New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence

30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself

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99By: Marc Chernoff

Our previous article, 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself, was well received by most of our readers, but several of you suggested that we follow it up with a list of things to start doing.  In one reader’s words, “I would love to see you revisit each of these 30 principles, but instead of presenting us with a ‘to-don’t’ list, present us with a ‘to-do’ list that we all can start working on today, together.”  Some folks, such as readers Danny Head and Satori Agape, actually took it one step further and emailed us their own revised ‘to-do’ versions of the list.

So I sat down last night with our original article and the two reader’s revisions as a guide, and a couple hours later finalized a new list of 30 things; which ended up being, I think, a perfect complement to the original.

Here it is, a positive ‘to-do’ list for the upcoming year – 30 things to start doing for yourself:

  1. Start spending time with the right people. – These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways.  They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.
  2. Start facing your problems head on. – It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them.  Problems will not disappear unless you take action.  Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done.  It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch.  These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run.
  3. Start being honest with yourself about everything. – Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed.  Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become.  Be honest with every aspect of your life, always.  Because you are the one person you can forever count on.  Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are.  Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
  4. Start making your own happiness a priority. – Your needs matter.  If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself.  Remember, it IS possible to take care of your own needs while simultaneously caring for those around you.  And once your needs are met, you will likely be far more capable of helping those who need you most.
  5. Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly. – Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are.  Be yourself.  Embrace that individualinside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else.  Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms.  Above all, be true to YOU, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.
  6. Start noticing and living in the present. – Right now is a miracle.  Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you.  Right now is life.  So stop thinking about how great things will be in the future.  Stop dwelling on what did or didn’t happen in the past.  Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening.  Appreciate the world for the beauty that it holds, right now.
  7. Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you. – Mistakes are okay; they’re the stepping stones of progress.  If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not trying hard enough and you’re not learning.  Take risks, stumble, fall, and then get up and try again.  Appreciate that you are pushing yourself, learning, growing and improving.  Significant achievements are almost invariably realized at the end of a long road of failures.  One of the ‘mistakes’ you fear might just be the link to your greatest achievement yet.
  8. Start being more polite to yourself. – If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?  The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.  You must love who you are or no one else will.
  9. Start enjoying the things you already have. – The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life – a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc.  Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you’ll likely have a new destination in mind.  You’ll end up spending your whole life working toward something new without ever stopping to enjoy the things you have now.  So take a quiet moment every morning when you first awake to appreciate where you are and what you already have.
  10. Start creating your own happiness. – If you are waiting for someone else to make you happy, you’re missing out.  Smile because you can.  Choose happiness.  Be the change you want to see in the world.  Be happy with who you are now, and let your positivity inspire your journey into tomorrow.  Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it.  If you look for happiness within the opportunities you have, you will eventually find it.  But if you constantly look for something else, unfortunately, you’ll find that too.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
  11. Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance. – In life, it’s rarely about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance.  You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work.  Most of the time you just have to go for it!  And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be.  Either you succeed or you learn something.  Win-Win.
  12. Start believing that you’re ready for the next step. – You are ready!  Think about it.  You have everything you need right now to take the next small, realistic step forward.  So embrace the opportunities that come your way, and accept the challenges – they’re gifts that will help you to grow.
  13. Start entering new relationships for the right reasons. – Enter new relationships with dependable, honest people who reflect the person you are and the person you want to be.  Choose friends you are proud to know, people you admire, who show you love and respect – people who reciprocate your kindness and commitment.  And pay attention to what people do, because a person’s actions are much more important than their words or how others represent them.
  14. Start giving new people you meet a chance. – It sounds harsh, but you cannot keep every friend you’ve ever made.  People and priorities change.  As some relationships fade others will grow.  Appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work.  Trust your judgment.  Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory.  Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.
  15. Start competing against an earlier version of yourself. – Be inspired by others, appreciate others, learn from others, but know that competing against them is a waste of time.  You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself.  You are competing to be the best you can be.  Aim to break your own personal records.
  16. Start cheering for other people’s victories. – Start noticing what you like about others and tell them.  Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places.  So be happy for those who are making progress.  Cheer for their victories.  Be thankful for their blessings, openly.  What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.
  17. Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations. – When things are hard, and you feel down, take a few deep breaths and look for the silver lining – the small glimmers of hope.  Remind yourself that you can and will grow stronger from these hard times.  And remain conscious of your blessings and victories – all the things in your life that are right.  Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.
  18. Start forgiving yourself and others. – We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others.  And while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long.  We relive the pain over and over and have a hard time letting go.  Forgiveness is the remedy.  It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened.  It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.
  19. Start helping those around you. – Care about people.  Guide them if you know a better way.  The more you help others, the more they will want to help you.  Love and kindness begets love and kindness.  And so on and so forth.
  20. Start listening to your own inner voice. – If it helps, discuss your ideas with those closest to you, but give yourself enough room to follow your own intuition.  Be true to yourself.  Say what you need to say.  Do what you know in your heart is right.
  21. Start being attentive to your stress level and take short breaks.– Slow down.  Breathe.  Give yourself permission to pause, regroup and move forward with clarity and purpose.  When you’re at your busiest, a brief recess can rejuvenate your mind and increase your productivity.  These short breaks will help you regain your sanity and reflect on your recent actions so you can be sure they’re in line with your goals.
  22. Start noticing the beauty of small moments. – Instead of waiting for the big things to happen – marriage, kids, big promotion, winning the lottery – find happiness in the small things that happen every day.  Little things like having a quiet cup of coffee in the early morning, or the delicious taste and smell of a homemade meal, or the pleasure of sharing something you enjoy with someone else, or holding hands with your partner.  Noticing these small pleasures on a daily basis makes a big difference in the quality of your life.
  23. Start accepting things when they are less than perfect. – Remember, ‘perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good.’  One of the biggest challenges for people who want to improve themselves and improve the world is learning to accept things as they are.  Sometimes it’s better to accept and appreciate the world as it is, and people as they are, rather than to trying to make everything and everyone conform to an impossible ideal.  No, you shouldn’t accept a life of mediocrity, but learn to love and value things when they are less than perfect.
  24. Start working toward your goals every single day. – Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.  Whatever it is you dream about, start taking small, logical steps every day to make it happen.  Get out there and DO something!  The harder you work the luckier you will become.  While many of us decide at some point during the course of our lives that we want to answer our calling, only an astute few of us actually work on it.  By ‘working on it,’ I mean consistently devoting oneself to the end result.  Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
  25. Start being more open about how you feel. – If you’re hurting, give yourself the necessary space and time to hurt, but be open about it.  Talk to those closest to you.  Tell them the truth about how you feel.  Let them listen.  The simple act of getting things off your chest and into the open is your first step toward feeling good again.
  26. Start taking full accountability for your own life. – Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them.  Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will.  And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own.  You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life.  And no, it won’t always be easy.  Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them.  But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles.  Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.
  27. Start actively nurturing your most important relationships. – Bring real, honest joy into your life and the lives of those you love by simply telling them how much they mean to you on a regular basis.  You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people.  Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty.  Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.
  28. Start concentrating on the things you can control. – You can’t change everything, but you can always change something.  Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation.  Invest your energy in the things you can control, and act on them now.
  29. Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes. – The mind must believe it CAN do something before it is capable of actually doing it.  The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful.  Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones.  Regardless of how a situation seems, focus on what you DO WANT to happen, and then take the next positive step forward.  No, you can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to things.  Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether or not you’re happy and successful in the long run depends greatly on which aspects you focus on.  Read The How of Happiness.
  30. Start noticing how wealthy you are right now. – Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.”  Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective.  You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night.  You didn’t go to sleep outside.  You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning.  You hardly broke a sweat today.  You didn’t spend a minute in fear.  You have access to clean drinking water.  You have access to medical care.  You have access to the Internet.  You can read.  Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful for all the things you do have.

Sourced from: http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/18/30-things-to-start-doing-for-yourself/