***We are happy to present a series of articles on sexual and intimacy issues, written by our very own therapist Christina Campbell who has an extensive history working in the field of sexology. This series is the result of positive feedback from previous articles, and will cover topics that negatively affect couples. Please know that the content is intended for a mature audience and reader discretion is advised. Should you have any questions or concerns please feel free to contact us using the contact page on our website.
In last months article we introduced readers to the concept of erectile dysfunction, its causes and how it affects a relationship. In part 2 we will now look at how to approach the problem of erectile dysfunction and what treatment may be beneficial.
How should you approach the problem?
Being able to talk about is a huge and first step. “Opening the lines of communication is paramount in resolving ED”, says Marian Dunn, PhD, “ED is not initially easy to talk about. But not talking about it can seriously damage a relationship.”
Sandy has been in a relationship for 11 months with a man who suffers from ED. “We’ve worked hard on handling it,” she says, “and we talk about it all the time, which really helps.” In addition to encouraging her partner to see his doctor for a physical exam, Sandy says that being able to talk about the situation has actually brought the two closer together.
Dr. Janice Lipsky says that “Women don’t need to take responsibility for their partner’s ED, but many women can and do play a critical role in supporting men to seek treatment.”
Is there anything to learn during treatment? Is treatment beneficial or not?
One of the benefits of treatment — be it medical or psychological, or a combination of the two — says Donahey, is that it can educate both partners about ED. It’s important to realize, for example, that just as a woman’s sexual responses may change as she ages, so, too, do a man’s. “A man’s sexual response rate also slows down as he gets older,” Donahey points out, therefore, in his 40s or 50s, he may need more direct stimulation of the penis. On the other side, a woman shouldn’t take this as a sign that her partner finds her unattractive.”
Donahey also suggests that couples expand their definition of what sexuality is so that they can maintain their physical intimacy. “Be more flexible,” she advises. “There’s more to sex than just intercourse … try manual stimulation, oral stimulation, stroking, kissing. These are all a part of an intimate relationship and can lead to an orgasm for both partners.
What can be done about Erectile Dysfunction?
Lots can be done about it. Don’t let yourself get into a hopeless mode. Talk to your doctor about the problem.
The first thing your doctor will do is to make sure you’re getting the right treatment for any health problems that could be causing or worsening your erectile dysfunction.
A variety of options exist for treating erectile dysfunction. Your doctor can explain the risks and benefits of each treatment and will consider your preferences. Your partner’s preferences also may play a role in treatment choices.
How can Sex Therapy help?
Talking with a counsellor skilled in ways to optimize sexual function is a proven erectile dysfunction treatment on its own. It can also maximize the results of other types of erectile dysfunction treatment — and ease concerns associated with erectile dysfunction
Sex therapy focuses on promoting effective communication about sex and learning techniques to improve sexual function among couples, which can ease stress and improve erectile function.
Although one-on-one counseling for erectile dysfunction can help, sex therapy usually works best when the client’s partner attends counselling sessions too.
The good news for many men is that ED can be prevented or treated, safely and effectively. If you have ED, there is hope and there is help. Talk to your health provider and a sex therapist.