By: Family Service PEI
It’s been a while since you’ve heard from her, but this article is written by our Executive Director, Denise Lockhart. Please feel free to send your criticisms her way … especially given the topic she’s selected to write about:
I know, I know, nobody wants to hear that it’s already time for back to school planning. The bad news is that some experts would argue that we should be planning for back to school even before it ends. The good news is that around here at Family Service PEI, we are a little more realistic about how we like to fly by the seat of our pants a little more that might be recommended by ‘experts’.
In all seriousness, though, the events surrounding going back to school (or starting in a new school for those in transition years or those attending post secondary institutions), can have a huge impact – emotionally, mentally, and financially. We hope that our newsletter this month will help provide you with some tips to prepare.
The impact of back to school for students:
Going back to school for children can be something they look forward to, or something they dread. Regardless of the thoughts they have, positive or negative, any sort of change in routine is stressful. Even if they love school and are happy to be reunited with their friends – they are likely dealing with a new teacher, possibly a new school, and a change from the relatively unstructured days of summer. If they are not big fan of school, the stresses can be more dramatic. They may dread the structure, having to deal with certain peers or teachers, or even struggle with separation anxiety from their parents and/or siblings.
I uncovered a lot of resources with tips and tools meant to help parents make the transition of back to school easier for their children and families. I think the best overall tool that I found is actually an American website that you can find by clicking here: www.schoolfamily.com/school-family-articles/article/10654-back-to-school-planning-guide If you’re the type to worry and stress about all the things in life that you just never seem to get around to doing, I would recommend skipping the first section of this article (things to do 3 months before school starts). I know I looked at it briefly and then just kept going. The only thing I was thinking of back then was getting through the final weeks before summer could officially start!! And I refuse to feel badly about it.
If you do encounter any issues with school and your school age child, there is also a local link that you should be aware of: www.Helpmychild.ca Check it out to find details on various local services that may be needed throughout the year. It’s always better to address problems earlier rather than later… even if you do sometimes want to bury your head in our lovely PEI sand.
For those who are entering post-secondary education (some of you who are parents may also be in this category) – the transition in September is huge!! Even though it can be exciting, there are also likely moments of terror. The stress load is huge as students come face to face with new professors, the details of the expectations of their courses, new living arrangements, and the list can go on. Regardless of the number of ‘things to do’ and ‘issues to deal with’, there is one golden rule that will likely get you through – BREATH DEEP and SCHEDULE EVERYTHING. There are tons of resources at your disposal to help you adjust. Some of these may be self service technological tools (such as Google calendar that will allow you to track your classes time table, and your to-do’s such as working on assignments, studying, etc), and some may be student supports offered by your educational institution (such as how to study tutorials, student support groups, library lessons, etc.). If you need help with something – ask. And if nobody seems to have the answer, do your own internet search to see what you can come up with.
The impact of back to school on parents:
Students are not the only beings who have to adjust during this time of year. Parents also struggle with the change in routine, and ensuring everyone’s needs are met. Parents who have children who are going to school for the first time, are changing schools, or are going away to a post secondary institution have even higher stress loads than others. So don’t forget to take the time you need to take care of your own emotional and psychological needs. Ensure you are getting enough sleep, food, and exercise. And that you are using your own strategies to schedule the mountain of things that need to be done. Personally, I use a large calendar that communicates to everyone what the daily/weekly/monthly commitments are … and I mean I use that for everything. Garbage pick up, birthday parties, extra-curricular activities, meal plans. I confess that when I set this up in the summer, each member of the family is assigned a colored pen so that it is a visual cue as to who is doing what …. This level of detail is somehow lost by the time October is here. But I assure you, the overall usefulness of the calendar itself is worth it’s weight in gold. I also happen to have a fairly demanding career with a number of obligations that would not be appropriate to put on our family calendar (mostly because there would not be enough space for anything else). In addition to the family scheduling, I use my electronic calendar and to-do lists on my phone to ensure I am always (almost) in the right place and none of my commitments to home and work are lost (rarely).
Admittedly, one of the most stressful elements of back to school planning for parents is financial strain. It can cost a lot of money to ensure your children are properly dressed, have the right materials, and look the way they want to look so that they are social accepted by their peers. There are things you can do to reduce the strain … even if it is unlikely to be fully eliminated.
1) Set a budget. Stick to it. Track all your purchases, to ensure you stay within the budget
2) Watch for sales – this applies to school supplies and clothing. Only purchase at full price if it is an item that you absolutely need, right at this moment.
3) Keep your receipts. Don’t be afraid to return unused merchandise if you discover that you don’t NEED the item; or if you find it cheaper elsewhere.
4) Make sure your older children understand your budget. While social acceptance is important, that doesn’t mean you should feel a need to buy all name brand clothing and accessories at ridiculously high prices. Teens who are self conscious about what they wear can be given the freedom to choose their clothing – but within a very strict budget.
5) Look around the house to see what supplies you already have on hand. Maybe new shoes are not really needed until Christmas, or whenever the next growth spurt hits.
6) Do some research. While I don’t recommend spending a lot of money on things with a limited life span, quality is something to take into consideration when buying items like kitbags, lunch kits, footwear, etc. Purchasing a cheap product that only lasts a fraction of the time you’ll need it for might result in the spending of more money in the long run. You can find an online review for almost anything.
And finally – if you are having trouble sticking to a budget or are finding yourself spending outside your means, take a moment to ponder about your thought process. For instance, when I was little, my mother would always buy me a new outfit for special occasions or when I was feeling a little blue. You know – an outfit for my booster shot, a birthday party, because my crush broke my heart, a Wednesday. You get the picture. Not only do I have to fight my urges to buy my own children clothing for these same reasons … I also have spent many a moment fighting my own thoughts about when I ‘deserve’ something new.
Now, I could be a complete anomaly. Or maybe you might struggle with your own thoughts when it comes to making purchasing decisions too. Awareness is the key to change!!! New clothes help too … oops. I shouldn’t have said that.